This page is an attempt to capture some of my core values & beliefs that appear to drive me. My goal is to revisit this regularly to perform a debugging of sorts as I observe my thoughts, emotions and behaviors. (See the last section for the ones that I would like to deprecate. If only it was as easy as listing them down…)
I. The Meta
- Values and Beliefs (VBs) are the subconscious seeds from which all conscious action, thought, and speech germinate. They are, in essence, the primary source of our desires and motivations.
- These seeds are sown throughout one’s life. The earliest, often planted deep within the subconscious soil by our childhood environment (parents, family, school, etc.), typically take root without our conscious intervention or agency.
- Over time, these initial seeds sprout intricate trees of related VBs that profoundly color the way we perceive and interact with the world.
- A significant amount of suffering can be averted if one can clearly articulate their deeply held VBs and strive to live in accordance with them.
- This articulation process also unearths VBs that are in conflict with each other, a common source of internal friction and distress.
- Seeds deemed ‘unhelpful’ can only be effectively rooted out once this entire network of VBs is articulated and its internal conflicts are clearly understood.
- It is vital to be open and accepting of one’s VBs changing and evolving. Nothing in the Kosmos remains static.
- To create the possibility of genuine change in core VBs, one must first cultivate the ability to dispassionately observe the thoughts these VBs continuously generate, without being swept into the vortex of energy they often hold. This is the essence of mindfulness.
- The only authentic path to living with joy and openness is to align actions with VBs. Intuition consistently signals when actions diverge from these core tenets. The choice—and the work—then becomes either to cease those actions or to honestly re-evaluate the VBs, seeking unresolved conflicts.
- VBs, Self-Esteem & Societal Interplay: VBs are often deeply intertwined with the desire for self-esteem, which, in turn, is frequently derived from societal status games.
- To authentically uncover one’s VBs, one must ask: ‘What am I doing to gain and maintain my self-esteem, and why?’ and ‘If my actions are True, what does this reveal about what I value and believe in?’
- Self-esteem doesn’t solely depend on societal recognition (though it’s a major factor for many). However, an alignment between personal and societal value systems is nearly essential. For example, a wealthy individual who avoids social media due to personal values, and thus doesn’t broadcast their material wealth, still derives self-esteem from that wealth because they know society values it. They feel ‘right’ without needing constant societal feedback.
- Constructive Status-Seeking: As humans, we need a sense of status to thrive. When status-seeking aligns with core values, it ceases to be a detrimental drive; instead, it harnesses external feedback to deepen focus on those values, highlighting the critical importance of authenticity and honesty regarding one’s true values.
II. Core Principles of Being
- The present moment is all there ever is. All regrets about the past and worries about the future are merely thoughts occurring in the present. This reflective exercise on VBs is, itself, an act rooted in the Present. Truly inculcating this understanding can be profoundly liberating.
- My never-ending sense of curiosity and wonder constitutes my Faith; I trust it implicitly to enable the infinite game of life.
- A Life Well-Lived Entails:
- Engaging with the world authentically, with courage and a sense of play.
- Confronting the reality of Death and impermanence directly.
- A central mechanism for soothing core existential anxiety as an individual ego is to relate to others as a fundamental object of value. In this context, value is always conferred by the Other. This simple equation underpins all striving for self-esteem, status, and belonging.
- This includes helping others, solving societal problems others recognize as such, connecting with others on shared grounds of meaning, or possessing wealth, which symbolically communicates past, present, and future value, as material wealth is a universally accepted store of value by others.
- The Others reside within a Culture which, fortunately, offers diverse options. An individual can thus choose the “Other” (their Sangha, or community) to engage with, aligning this choice with their personal values. This seeking is a core aspect of the individual journey.
- Self-mastery in multiple life domains, chosen in relation to the “Other,” is a primary purpose and joy of living.
- This mastery must be purposefully applied—creating value for others and contributing, however modestly, to improving the human condition.
- A sole focus on one’s individual self is bound to lead to dissatisfaction because the ‘self’ is not an immutable entity. It is a construct evolved for basic individual survival, yet its greatest utility lies in collaborating with others around shared values and beliefs.
- This sense of an individual self represents uncharted territory in noospheric (mind/consciousness) evolution—both a feature and a bug. Like any intelligent life form, it will fight for its survival and continued propagation, inherently driven by evolutionary dynamics.
- While specific individuals across human history have likely transcended this plane of noospheric consciousness, such transcendence may involve a cohesive integration of physiopheric (material), biospheric (life), and noospheric (mind) forms of Being.
- Our world exhibits an excessive skew towards the noospheric domain, causing widespread imbalances. The next evolutionary stage, whatever it may be, cannot be reached via this path alone. A complete integration of all three stages into a singular Understanding is necessary.
III. Navigating the Emotional Landscape
- An uncomfortable feeling or emotion carries a significant hint—an opportunity for profound teaching that can lead to growth and evolution if not avoided.
- Anxiety functions as a perverse form of protection. It attempts to shield you from feeling bad, rooted in a deeply held VB that ‘feeling bad is inherently negative and must be avoided at all costs.’
- Fear is the emotional manifestation of this VB.
- This fear leads to the avoidance of feeling bad, which paradoxically intensifies negative feelings, especially when it conflicts with another VB, such as ‘practicing courage.’
- Constant pleasure-seeking and pain avoidance can become pathological, creating a perpetual state of fight-or-flight with the reality of existence, which is incredibly energy-draining.
- Both seeking and avoidance equally deepen the mental grooves associated with their respective objects or experiences. The valence (positive or negative) does not determine the depth of this relationship.
- Example (Avoidance): If I hate public speaking because it makes me anxious, avoiding it reinforces the VB: ‘Public speaking is bad because it causes anxiety, which is bad because feeling bad is to be avoided.’
- Example (Seeking): If I enjoy reading and actively seek it, it reinforces the VB: ‘Reading books is good because it makes me feel good.’
- This system becomes problematic when existence presents many things one believes must be avoided or sought.
- Fully acknowledging pain in the present moment reduces the mental suffering that arises from attempting to eliminate it.
- t’s a challenging but rewarding pivot to train the mind and motivation-reward system to prefer activities like reading books over passive entertainment (e.g., screen-based content). Generally, exerting effort to gain a reward yields far more satisfaction than the empty calories of quick dopamine-hit activities.
IV. Deprecated & Discarded Beliefs (Ongoing Debugging)
- “I need to stop being anxious to live my life fully.”
- “I can rely on my problem-solving mind to fix my anxiety, mood swings, and all other life problems.”
- “It is beneath me to publicize my work; publicizing creative work means I am doing it for validation. One should engage in creative expression without worrying about recognition or validation.”
- This now sounds like a rationalization, an excuse to avoid vulnerability or to maintain a sense of superiority. It was a defense mechanism hindering growth.
- What is the point of creative expression if it doesn’t potentially add value to someone else? Can value truly be created in isolation, without input or participation from a larger collective? This old belief directly conflicted with the emerging VB of wanting to contribute to others’ lives.
- “I will find it hard to recover from the feeling of having disappointed others who placed their trust and faith in me.”
- I obviously overestimate how much others dwell on my actions or perceived failings. This is rooted more in my own internal critic than external reality.